A cult is violent to its victim’s emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, as you would see in the “cycle of violence”? It’s an unhealthy relationship with someone that place themselves in the one-up position in the relationship, love is given with condition of performing to gratify the one in the one-up position. In a cultic group it is a bigger circle of the “cycle of violence” and more players to beat you into submission to the whims of the one in the one-up position. The state of the person that is in the one-down position is forced to become enemies with their own self-reason; I call it putting sipper in the brain of its victim to shooting down the voice of reason they may have.
When one comes out of this type of relationship they go through a lot of pain because of the paradigm shift of the brain when their critical thinking starts kicked along with dealing with the trauma of cult leader using their venoms words and hostility pointed to the poor soul trying to find the truth from the emotional and spiritual conqueror reaction of losing control of them, the more they fights for autonomy the hard they will fight to for control them. Yes it is very hard to watch someone go through this and being someone that has gone through it myself I know the pain to well, but when one has been in a relationship like this one they must “out process” or as I put it be “deprogram” because if one does do not they will be accessible to this abuse over and over again. Many people that leave cults run back to them because the lies of the captures have not been exposed to them. You see this in abuse women running back to a monster of a man, or a prostitute running back to her abusive heavy handed pimp. If they do not out process, they well run back to it or find another abuser.
You have seen the wizard of Oz, it is like the same thing in a cult, a victim sees the fire and the smoke, and they hear the booming voice, there told by the crowd that this is the only person that has the power to help them, their sent on an impossible quest. But the spell is only broken when they see the little man behind the certain manipulation the show.
A person needs to profile the abuse that is being done to her, that means the focus is not on her and her action but their action. Every abuser has a tool box at consist of the same sadistic things to gain control of a person. I call it “the mental and psychological torture kit.” The tools are always the same, but used in variety of degrees concerning the cult.
1. The love bomb
2. Shaming, belittling
4. Separating them from others
5. Fear, if you step out of line you’re in trouble.
6. Your special, but without us your nothing
7. We are special, chosen few, us and no one else. (Leave us you leave God himself.)
8. The God card, God has indorsed me to rule over you!
9. Black and white, thing are all right or all wrong, no color
10. A list of do’s and don’ts not biblical but manmade like dress codes, where you can live, who you can talk to, what kind of work you can do, and who you can marry etc… to many to list and for ever changing.
11. BIG I little u
12. Come against us you are taking on god, and he is going to zap you with a raging fire from heaven when you’re not looking.
13. Pity, leave us look at all we have done for you, (we deserve to rule over you)
14. Play the victim
15. Use the crowd to control you
16. Discard your feeling and thoughts.
17. keeping one emotion unbalance or off balance, this is so they can control them easier this is called crazymaking
18. mystical, and secret
19. Your work is your value, work harder, it’s your fault that things are not perfect.
20. Can’t talk rule, and if you see anything wrong you’re the problem not the leader or the organization just YOU.
The best defense is not to run but to fight and learning from it (seeing the little man manipulating the show). That will help the person who has suffer from this kind of abuse the most. Ones that happen they will be free from the terrain of the mind that is induce with these behaviors they will be able to stand tall and free and not get sucked back into it clutches.
If one feels uncomfortable around the church people to get up and leave. Most people process out mental, emotion and then physical.